South Region First Round Matchups

16. Duke vs. 1. Parker

We have no intention of naming our daughter "Duke", but couldn't resist the opportunity to see Duke as a 16 seed. "Parker" will probably be spelled with a silent (The University of Maryland at College) on the beginning, if Marck has his way. That is to say, it won't be spelled with a silent (The University of Maryland at College) on the beginning.

15. Ashley vs. 2. Charlotte

See Midwest region for all you need to know about this matchup.

14. Scout vs. 3. Maude

The young hero from "To Kill a Mockingbird" vs. the not young hero from "Harold and Maude." "Scout" would have a higher seed if Bruce Willis and Demi Moore didn't slap that name on their spawn.

13. Consommé vs. 4. Iris

The other girl-appropriate soup name, "Consommé" would join "Bisque" if both 13 seeds escape from the Midwest and South Regions. If "Zooey" wins (see below), we will probably change our dog's name to "Iris." That is because we purchased her with a tax return. Come to think of it, these kids are going to be good for a tax credit...

12. Meredith vs. 5. Ophelia

Two of our friends are pregnant with due dates in September. Their names? Meredith. We figured that "Meredith" should therefore get an honorable mention. She is not up against a Shakespeare character. We cannot stress this enough.

6. Grace vs. 11. Marcia

Going with the 11 Seed could lead to a certain amount of sibling rivalry. Might want to vote for "Grace" in this round.

10. Allison vs. 7. Gloria

We don't mean "Allison" in an Elvis Costello way, although it's a nice song. We do mean "Gloria" in a Patti Smith way. Kick ass.

8. Zooey vs. 9. Julia

Our dog is named "Zoe," so we will have to rename her if the 8 Seed wins it all. We would probably have ranked "Zooey" higher, but we really don't want the veterinarian's staff to think that we are total weirdos.