Friday, April 9, 2010

East Region First Round Matchups

16. Ralphina vs. 1. Phoebe

15. Vivian vs. 2. Cecilia

14. Abigail vs. 3. Ramona

13. Annette vs. 4. Inez

12. Madeleine vs. 5. Alexandra

11. Ella vs. 6. Zara

10. Zelda vs. 7. Gabriella

9. Annika vs. 8. Esther

West Region First Round Matchups

16. Raphaela vs. 1. Quinn

15. Sarafina vs. 2. Pepper

14. Gretchen vs. 3. Reade

13. Frances vs. 4. Siri

12. Lillian vs. 5. Amelia

11. Chloe vs. 6. Naomi

10. Bridget vs. 7. Samantha

8. Paige vs. 9. Nadine

South Region First Round Matchups

16. Duke vs. 1. Parker

We have no intention of naming our daughter "Duke", but couldn't resist the opportunity to see Duke as a 16 seed. "Parker" will probably be spelled with a silent (The University of Maryland at College) on the beginning, if Marck has his way. That is to say, it won't be spelled with a silent (The University of Maryland at College) on the beginning.

15. Ashley vs. 2. Charlotte

See Midwest region for all you need to know about this matchup.

14. Scout vs. 3. Maude

The young hero from "To Kill a Mockingbird" vs. the not young hero from "Harold and Maude." "Scout" would have a higher seed if Bruce Willis and Demi Moore didn't slap that name on their spawn.

13. Consommé vs. 4. Iris

The other girl-appropriate soup name, "Consommé" would join "Bisque" if both 13 seeds escape from the Midwest and South Regions. If "Zooey" wins (see below), we will probably change our dog's name to "Iris." That is because we purchased her with a tax return. Come to think of it, these kids are going to be good for a tax credit...

12. Meredith vs. 5. Ophelia

Two of our friends are pregnant with due dates in September. Their names? Meredith. We figured that "Meredith" should therefore get an honorable mention. She is not up against a Shakespeare character. We cannot stress this enough.

6. Grace vs. 11. Marcia

Going with the 11 Seed could lead to a certain amount of sibling rivalry. Might want to vote for "Grace" in this round.

10. Allison vs. 7. Gloria

We don't mean "Allison" in an Elvis Costello way, although it's a nice song. We do mean "Gloria" in a Patti Smith way. Kick ass.

8. Zooey vs. 9. Julia

Our dog is named "Zoe," so we will have to rename her if the 8 Seed wins it all. We would probably have ranked "Zooey" higher, but we really don't want the veterinarian's staff to think that we are total weirdos.

Midwest Region First Round Matchups

16. (Wilma) vs. 1. Sesachacha

This is a phonetically challenging first round match up. "Sesachacha" is a Wampanoag Indian word that is pronounced "Satchaka." (Wilma) is silent. If (Wilma) wins it all, our daughter will go by her middle name, but she will add the silent (Wilma) to her name whenever it is written. She will know she's in trouble whenever we pronounce the (Wilma). (Wilma) falls in the realm of Marck's humor that Emily finds more enraging than funny, or else it would have been seeded higher.

15. Mary Kate vs. 2. Loretta

On the off chance that the 15 Seeds make it out of the Midwest and South Regions, our twin daughters will be named "Mary Kate and Ashley." If that is the case, Dave Coulier is allowed to sleep on our couch whenever he is in town.

14. Kayleigh vs. 3. Marquart

"Marquart" is the name of a friend who was rewarded for her visceral negative reaction to the name "Duke" with a 3 Seed in the Marck Madness bracket. "Kayleigh" is after the Marillion song. Go watch that video, check out the mullets, and give Marquart some love. Her reaction to the name "Duke" is worth a trip to the second round.

13. Bisque vs. 4. Maple

Do not mistake this for a match up of foodstuff. Although "Bisque" is inspired by the name for soup -- it is one of only two girl-appropriate soup names we could think of -- "Maple" is for the lumber. Maple is clear, strong, and every individual example of maple is uniquely beautiful. These are qualities that we would like to encourage in a daughter.

12. Cynthia vs. 5. Audrey

The 5 seed is probably safe in this round.

11. Aja vs. 6. Rhiannon

A woman taken by the wind versus Chinese music under Banyan trees. What's not to love about the first match up between kick ass rock songs?

10. Irene vs. 7. Lucille

"Lucille" is the name of B.B. King's legendary guitar. Also, the weepy teenage breakup mix tapes (we won't even speculate as to what form music will be delivered in by that point) from jilted suitors would be hilarious. "Irene" will have to accumulate votes early if she is going to stay in this thing.

8. Stella vs. 9. Sydney

If "Stella" wins, boys will not be allowed in the house if they merely knock on the door. They will have to stand on the front lawn and yell her name. As long as you live under our roof, you must live by our rules, missy. "Sydney" is one of Grandma Stanley's name suggestions, so it gets a higher seed than might ordinarily be the case.